It looks like a big Tylenol.

 In Business, Lifestyle



*I started thinking about this post before seeing the horrendous video of the passenger on a United flight being physically removed from his seat or the young girls who were not allowed to board the plane because leggings are apparently NOT pants. My observations will seem trivial and flippant in comparison. So don’t compare!

Change filter regularly.

For those that know me, you would think that my lack of filter stems from not being able to read visual cues and body language.  But the truth is, I am an intense people watcher. My filter is just permanently clogged!

Having lived in the airport and on planes the last month, I’ve had my fill of airport etiquette. It seems all logical and yet human decency gets left curbside. The tone is probably set by the airline employees the moment you rush up to the kiosk to check-in. It’s there that often you get treated like an idiot when the simple act of swiping your credit card becomes an ordeal sprinkled with eye rolls and audible sighs.

Should have invested in Lamisil stock.

Whether you are traveling for business or pleasure or pain, there is much to be seen in an airport. Since most of my flights begin at a small “international” airport, one would think it would be relatively easy compared to the big hubs like Atlanta or Dallas. However the inconsistency of TSA in EVERY airport leaves a lot to be desired. One airport…shoes go on the belt. Another…they go in a bin. And in some…you can keep them on. What?? (Side note-I think shoe removal is actually just a scam started by Big Pharma to drive up sales of foot fungus cream)

Pass the mimosa, please.

On a flight recently I watched a middle aged man try to send his CHECKED baggage (picture HUGE piece of luggage) through the TSA checkpoint. And he was genuinely baffled when it wouldn’t fit through the scanner. This did not appear to be his first rodeo and there may have a been a few early morning cocktails involved, but the line forming behind him watched as the agent tried to explain that the tags on his suitcase meant he would need to return it to the ticket counter to be placed UNDER the plane. Then once we are at the gate and about to board, he tried to just sashay onto the plane without scanning his ticket. Put down the mimosa sir and follow directions.

No flight is complete without the person that hits their head on the overhead bin while unfolding themselves from the window seat. (For the record that is usually me, and I am NOT tall. So my deepest sympathy to those of you with your knees shoved under your chin, who then knock your noggin’ as you try to gain feeling back in your legs)

Hold up, girl.

And my FAVORITE…the person in the back of the plane who thinks they are the ONLY one on a tight schedule and, they push past all of the other people with tight connections.  Unless the flight attendant has requested those with long layovers remain in their seat to allow for the others to deplane first, then sit your a** down until it is your turn. I always imagine those same people plowing down the aisle at church to be the first to get Communion. There are rules people, and you are breaking them!

Cinnabon, FTW!

When you find yourself cruising through the airport trying to decide if you have time for a little T.G.I.Fridays or a quick pretzel at Auntie Anne’s, move to the side PLEASE! There are people in a hurry and your dilly dallying isn’t helping their stress level. On that note…there are signs specifically written to address where to stand on the moving walkway. Lack of signage will be the downfall of the human race, so when it is there…Read it. Do it.

  1. DON’T talk on your phone loudly right up until the flight attendant tells you to turn off your device.
  2. DO turn off the sound if you plan to play a game.
  3. DON’T bring stinky food on the plane. No one wants to smell your tuna fish sandwich.
  4. DO put your armrest down if you are sharing a row with a stranger.

No doubt there are infinite items to put on the list…what would you add??


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